Well, it's April, and April is rainy season and where I come from rainy season means just one thing: time to make a nest! Some of you may not be real good yet at making a nest, so I thought it would be nice for me to give you some advice on how to make a nest. So here's how you make a nest.

I'm talking about a big nest, of course, like for gorillas, not little nests like for birds. (Aren't birds cute, though, with their little nests?)

Find a good stand of straw or African heron grass and gather as much of it as you can into your arms, always being aware of the possibility from attack by dominant males who are trying to protect their females. I was nearly killed once by a real crabby dominant male who saw me carrying an armload of straw and for some reason took it as a direct challenge. Really, I meant no such thing! Had I not so quickly presented, well who knows whether I'd be here today. (So if I were you I would practice presenting, too, as part of my nest-building routine.)

I should take a moment and explain something. It's always possible to use one of those everyday nests, the ones I've heard described as "crude." You know what I mean, we've all done it - you're tired, you've eaten about 70 pounds of who knows what (mostly plants, maybe a dead marmoset) since sun-up, so you just bend a few tree branches into some kind of shape and drop right off to sleep.

Don't get me wrong, those can be great nests. (And if you make 'em big enough for two - wowie!) But as I get older and gain a little more status in the group I prefer your hay or straw, or even your grass. I feel I deserve it.

And there's not much to it, really. Get a bunch of hay or straw or grass and kind of stamp it around and then just lie down, brother! You won't regret the extra effort.