Hi everyone. Mike Nelson here welcoming you to this web page! Welcome. Let me tell you about some of the special events that we have coming up on the Satellite of Love. Every Wednesday there's an event that Crow set up called Two-Fer-Tuesday, where we get two smoked oysters for the price of one. He holds his Two-Fer-Tuesday on Wednesday because Servo also has an event called Too-Fur-Tuesday which he holds every Tuesday in which we get two pocket gopher pelts for the price of one. It's a lot of fun, but as far as I know, no one has taken either one up on the offer.

Gypsy also has an event on Friday afternoon that she calls To-Fir-Tuesday where you get to plant several trees instead of just one. It gets kind of confusing.

Spring cleaning is also just around the corner, an event we look forward to with no small dose of trepidation. That's because Tom Servo uses this time to beat the coal dust out of the rugs in the traditional fashion. It does no good to mention that we operate on a particulate-free ferro-magnetic heating system, for Tom the feisty would-be-hausfrau might turn on you with a couple of fierce cracks of his rug beater, screaming in his perfect German. Oh, boy! Spring!

Enjoy your time here in moderation.