MST3K | MST3000: Experiment 913

#913: QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS


	Simply, the Delta Knight movie by which all other Delta Knight movies must be judged. Anyway there's a secret organization called the Delta Knights. They live in Europe: England, Italy, whatever. Their quest is to find some kind of secret (of course) storehouse of Archimedes, the implication being that Archimedes was the greatest of all those bearded philosophers. Maybe he was, who am I to question. The particular Delta Knights with whom we are forced to be concerned are young "T," and old "Baydool," and Leonardo daVinci. There is a harlot who turns out to be a princess; T and Leo both fall in love with her, a la Star Wars; not a la Star Wars there've been no sequels to explore this little trio. The heroes battle a mean woman (Olivia Hussey) and her cruel warriors who dress like feathered bats; in the end they discover the storehouse of Archimedes and destroy it. This is ostensibly wise. Leo's pissed, but swipes most of his best ideas anyway.


	Prologue: Gypsy takes the hail-damaged Crow in for repairs, and Mike and Servo are left with a beater loaner Crow. Segment One: Crow returns. Pearl announces her dissatisfaction with Mike's relative lack of misery, and trades places with him. Bobo and Brain Guy taunt Mike. Segment Two: Pearl, although adored by Tom and Crow for having given them a mint, decides to leave. Mike is having a great guy time with Bobo and Brain Guy, but has no choice. The 'Bots are real disappointed with Mike's return. Segment Three: A quartet of Tom Servo's in madrigal robes sing: "A sweet Delta Lady, I do what I please; I'm strong and I'm savvy and I've got these!" Segment Four: Leonardo daVinci shows up. He lives in Queens now, though still dressed in robes; he's tough and doesn't like Servo at all. Segment Five: Mike helps Tom and Servo deal with their grief over Pearl's absence. In the castle, the modern-day Delta Knights hold a huge pancake breakfast.


	The pancake breakfast scene involved the most extras ever in any of our sketches, and word of that fact had apparently leaked out before the show's airing. We certainly hope no one expected a chariot race or a reenactment of the Battle of Shiloh or something along those lines. Hey, this was hard enough. We're all pretty gun-shy about hail damage here at Best Brains. Most of our cars were destroyed by hail back in May, and I'm still dickering with the insurance company over damages to my house. They're threatening to just total it out and give me the blue book value, which means I'll be living in an '89 Toyota before long. *- Paul Chaplin*