MST3K | MST3000: Experiment 903

#903: Puma Man


	Within the context of our world, this is actually a cheerful little film, what with guys being hurled mysteriously off tall buildings and Donald Pleasence strolling around in a silvery muumuu. The villains, of whom Donald is the leader of course, want to find the real Puma Man, an Aztec god sort of personage who they figure has moved to swingin' London. He can be identified by throwing him off a building and observing how he survives: Puma Men fly, see, so they definitely have a leg up on real pumas. Puma Man turns out to be the wispy Tony Farms, and he is identified by a hulking yet gentle Aztec named Vadinho. They become fast friends, once Tony manages to get past Vadinho throwing him out a window and learns to ignore the palpable condescension that characterizes Vadinho's attitude towards him. Together, they uncover Donald's plan to dominate the world through controlling the minds of all the world's (male) leaders. This he does by slapping together papier mache models of their heads and staring at them (the models or the real heads; either seems to work) intently from behind Plexiglas. Vadinho teaches Tony how to hang awkwardly from strings and how to play dead when threatened, and with these two skills firmly in hand Tony defeats Donald, albeit with Vadinho stepping in when something especially difficult or physical needs doing.


	Prologue: Servo has "short man's disease." Fortunately, it's treatable with baby aspirin. Segment One: Pearl plans an elaborate ball, inviting everyone in the vicinity to her new castle; Brain Guy plans a little get-together at the same time, with Ortega and his cousin Staci the first guests. Pearl forces the Mike and the 'Bots to mingle among themselves; Servo is the only one who gets into it. Segment Two: With the help of hairdresser Shellie the nanite, Mike opts for "the dry look." His head becomes extremely dry. Segment Three: Crow and Servo force Mike to don a silly costume and declare him to be "Coatimundi Man." He has all the attendant powers of the mighty coatimundi. Segment Four: Crow and Servo create a replica of the head of Roger Whitaker, but Mike can't think of anything to do with him even though they control him now. Crow and Servo, peeved, threaten to sic Roger Whitaker on Mike. Segment Five: In the wake of the movie, Crow resigns, and then immediately returns and is granted a free-lance position at lower pay with no benefits. In the castle, Pearl's party is a bust, while Brain Guy's is a huge success; then Roger Whitaker shows up and charms the heck out of Pearl.


	I'm the only one amongst the writers who believes the people behind Puma Man intended humor in the very geeky way Tony flies, what with his unremarkable limbs waggling all over and his sad cape coupled incongruously with his J.C. Penney slacks. Everyone else believes the filmmakers were deadly serious from the get-go. On the other hand I do agree with the other writers that it would have been unpleasant to spend much time kissing Tony Farms, an activity portrayed rather a great deal in the movie. Bridget and Mary Jo were especially vehement on this point, I recall. I was in Mexico once and saw a coatimundi. Yep. *- Paul Chaplin*