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#813: Jack Frost
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Jack Frost, near as we can figure, is a Russo-Finnish
co-production. Like so many of our movies, it is comprised of a bunch of
unrelated elements which then are sort of taped together to form a
tangible blob of moving pictures to which we viewers apply our persistence
of vision and suspend our disbelief. I think... I'm guessing... I have
been led to believe by the film that: the lovely, sweet Nastinka is
despised by her stepmother who favors her own daughter. Nastinka meets
Ivan in the woods one day, after he's had a long day of frolicking with a
mushroom dwarf who then puts a spell on Ivan for his conceitedness. The
spell turns Ivan into a bear shortly after meeting Nastinka. Nastinka
feels she is to blame, as all women do everywhere for every thing, and
searches the land to find Ivan, who himself is trying to find out how to
reverse the spell. I think. I've only seen the movie seven or eight
times, so it's all kind of unclear. Meanwhile, the evil step-mother is
trying to marry off the other daughter. Throw in a bunch of elves,
witches, dancing houses, snow and, of course, Jack Frost, who screws
everything up then puts it all to right.
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Prologue:
Mike Nelson IS Michael Flatley in Lord of the Dance. Gypsy looks
on, duly unimpressed.
Segment One:
Pearl Forrester is away, taking the prescient children from Experiment 812 back to their omnipotent parents. She has
left Observer and Bobo alone, and Bobo insists he's in charge; but Brain
Guy has to take care of Bobo's daily ablutions. Bobo confronts Brain Guy
about his odor de body and Mike gently referees.
Segment Two:
Crow brings in an expert to elucidate the film, Yakov Smirnoff, played by
prop-master extraordinaire Patrick Brantseg. Yakov doesn't know jack about
the film, natch.
Segment Three:
Crow has taken his bear simulation to the extreme, and down on the
"Camping Planet" [as was our working title for the scenes not shot on
the SOL] Bobo and Brain guy have finally, grudgingly bonded.
Segment Four:
Who better to explicate the film than the drummer of Survivor's great-aunt
Gladys Fletcher's friend Eunice Torgeson's estranged half-brother Earl
Torgeson, a butcher in Sanford, Maine, who specializes in old-world
sausages, who visits the SOL and recounts many a tale and fable about the
movie Jack Frost.
Segment Five:
Servo is darling. He's cute. He's adorable... as he persistently
insists. Down in Camping Planet, Bobo and Brain Guy have an intense
tête-à-tête about whether Every Which Way But Loose
or Every Which Way You Can is the better ape film. They bring Mike
down to con-fab, and Pearl arrives back declaring that Dunston Checks
In is the best ape movie ever.
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