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#809: I was a Teenage Werewolf
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I was a Teenage Werewolf. Well, there you have it. There's not much more to
add to that. This bio-pic portrays Michael Landon's life as a teenage werewolf.
He's a frustrated teen who doesn't fit in. A psychiatrist (the magnetic Whit
Bissell) does some sort of past life regression on Landon's character and he
becomes a werewolf whenever he hears a bell ringing... or sees milk... or hears
milk ringing... (I'm not real clear on this - neither is the movie.) His
girlfriend loves him for no apparent reason, and he has a pitiful dad who's doing
his damnedest to try to keep things together. Landon's werewolfery spins out of
control (because of Whit Bissell's unbridled ineptitude, I might point out) and
all ends tragically. Although Landon dies in the end, so does Whit Bissell, so
its a draw. Check out the entire Michael Landon bio-pic oeuvre, chronicling his
entire life, which includes I Was A Late-Teens/Early Twenties Cowboy; I Was A
Middle-Age Prairie Dad; I Was An Angel Of A Certain Age.
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Prologue:
Mike is relieved of command of
the ship. Servo is offered the job and declines on the basis that he cannot
determine the difference between Shinola and the other stuff, among other things.
Segment One:
Pearl takes the Brain Guy and
Bobo camping, leaving the SOL on their own, functioning only on ship's batteries.
This leaves the SOL very vulnerable; in fact, within seconds a face hugging
alien attaches itself to Servo's head.
Segment Two:
Crow gets a proximity
detector to try to ferret out the aliens that are invading the ship. It
malfunctions, but it measures humidity perfectly.
Segment Three:
Servo is armed to the gills
to do battle with whatever alien life-force is attacking the ship. Turns out,
he's a big, giant crybaby.
Segment Four:
Mike, Tom and Crow set
about eating all the eggs the foreign life force has left on the ship. Crow puts
his own spin on things by trying to make the SOL a darling breakfast place.
Segment Five:
Mike fends off the beast by mimicking Adam Duritz of Counting Crows. Naturally,
the beast is repelled. Down on the unidentified planet where Pearl, Bobo and
Brain Guy have made camp, Pearl tells ghost stories.
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