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Movie: Final Justice:
The story of a large sweaty man who
goes to Malta to sweat.
Directed by Greydon Clark, who brought you Joy Sticks and
Satan's Cheerleaders, it stars Joe Don Baker as Geronimo, a
bitter, unappealing sheriff who likes to kill. Geronimo is given
the task of escorting a mob boss back to his home in Malta, a
job he whizzes almost immediately. He then fumbles about the
tiny island yelling at people, eating, running into folks,
burping, being flatulent, spitting, discharging phlegm, rubbing
earwax on things, hurting feelings, soiling items, staining
other things, breaking railings, tracking mud, insulting people,
committing fraud, breaking dishes, being urpy, eating off other
people's plates, running by the pool, swearing, kicking dogs,
making kids cry and occasionally killing--but mostly, he
aggravates the Dorf-like Superintendent Mifsu. Still, we love
him, because he lives large! He's the quintessential American.
Watch for the scene where he chases a man dressed like a
monk...for nearly 14 hours!! Yes, it's only a 90 minute film, I
don't know how they do it. I do know that chasing a monk is
something we've all had to do at some time, and perhaps this is
why the scene hits home for many of us.
— Mike Nelson
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Prologue:
Servo gives his opinions on the Yes song, Owner of a Lonely
Heart. Special emphasis is given to comparing an owner of a
lonely heart to owners of other things.
Segment 1:
After being plagued by the Owner of a Lonely Heart orchestra
hit, Pearl calls and shows them the value of humor in the
workplace. Bobo tries his own brand of humor and Pearl loudly
and harshly shuts him down.
Segment 2:
In order to mock a repeated shot in Final Justice Mike and the
'Bots go to some trouble, including having Mike trip in the
exact same manner, about 400 times.
Segment 3:
The lovable Maltese puppet Goosio visits the ship. The robots,
thinking it's an invention of Mike's, kill it.
Segment 4:
Crow goes a little funny and starts insulting the character and
physical characteristics of Maltese men.
Segment 5:
Having seen Joel escape right after watching the Joe Don Baker
film Mitchell, Mike assumes it's his turn to escape. The robots
have to talk him down. In the castle, Pearl and Bobo are playing
funny dress-up to keep things loose. Brain Guy shows up looking
very leathery and informs them that he's not dressing up, he
simply has a date. Wow.
Stinger:
Joe Don's signature line from the film.
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I can't tell you how delighted we were
at the prospect of another Joe Don Baker film. Mitchell was a
joy to do, and many people have told me how much they enjoyed
watching our treatment of it. Final Justice on the other hand,
was like having a knitting needle pounded slowly into your
knee-cap, and I wouldn't be surprised if people approach me
after viewing it and simply slap my face indignantly, like that
woman in Jaws did to Sheriff Brody.
As for the host segments, all went smoothly, and the only thing
I can remember is that we had some new interns, sharp people,
who picked up on our love for meat. We would get huge stacks of
meat for breakfast! Shaved beef and turkey, spiced gently,
lovingly and piled high on clean, white plates by eager and
talented young men and women! I wish you could have been there.
Some enterprising young Turk even took to placing a slice of
meat on a bare, flat palm, spreading it with flavored cream
cheese and simply rolling it up. A "meat roll-up," we'd call it.
Anyway, that's what I remember about Final Justice.
— Mike Nelson
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