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Movie: The Girl In Gold Boots:
Buzz, a traveling thug, stops at a diner somewhere in the Nevada
nuclear testing grounds and meets Michele, who wants to be a
dancer. He suggests she accompany him to Los Angeles, claiming
his sister Joan is a famous hoofer. After drunk dad slaps her
around, Michele concludes that life with Buzz may be a
quarter-step up, so she agrees.
Shortly, they're joined by Critter, a fey man with a guitar. Off
they go to the jolly world of striptease and drug dealing that
is Los Angeles.
Turns out that Joan is an exotic dancer, sort of, and her boss,
Leo, the Oiliest Man in the World, deals drugs to school kids.
Michele is thrilled. She gets to be a dancer, right next to the
famous addict Joan! Maybe she'll even get to be addicted and
used and thrown away herself!
There are many many many scenes of dancing. Many, I tell you.
Very many.
Critter latches on as a janitor at the club, Buzz falls right
into drug dealing, and there's all kinds of tension between Buzz
and Critter regarding the attentions of the zaftig Michele.
Critter admits to Michele that he's planning to become a draft
dodger someday, which for some reason makes it impossible for
him to declare his love for her. She keeps dancing and replacing
the increasingly addicted Joan, while Leo grins and drips oil.
Buzz takes part in a jailhouse robbery and kills a guy. Critter
and Michele find out. (I'm losing interest here, just as I did
while watching the movie.) Critter beats up everybody and calls
the police and joins the Marines. An ending arrives which is
presented as happy.
— Paul Chaplin
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Prologue:
Crow wears a "WWBSMD" bracelet -- 'What Would Buffy St. Marie
Do?" His answer to a hypothetical moral dilemma: write a folk
song. An odd shift to the castle: Pearl warns she's about to
become a fully-accredited mad scientist.
Segment 1:
Pearl tries her darndest to act like a mad scientist, as a mad
scientist inspector is visiting. She shocks Bobo, gives Brain
Guy a latex hump, and talks Mike and the 'Bots into overreacting
to the movie. When she starts hitting Brain Guy, the inspector
nods approvingly.
Segment 2:
Crow dresses as Buzz, Servo as Michele; Crow tries to exact
revenge (for what? Who knows?) on Mike by making Mike pour beer
on his most prized possessions, as in the movie. Those turn out
to be Mike's beer stein and then Crow himself.
Segment 3:
Crow's legs are all that are visible as he dances provocatively,
wearing gold boots, apparently sporting a tiny bikini. Mike's
outraged; the 'Bots accuse him of being uncomfortable
acknowledging Crow as a sexual creature.
Segment 4:
Mimicking the film, Mike sings a folk song in front of a window
as it rains. Crow keeps appearing, telling him that the water
has caused a fire. Mike's oblivious and sings; Crow and Servo
finally extinguish the fire.
Segment 5:
Everybody on the SOL dresses like Leo; they're embarrassed. In
the castle, the inspector concludes that Pearl's experiment is a
failure -- until he sees Brain Guy in a dress, dancing. He
accredits Pearl as a mad scientist, "conditionally."
Stinger:
Joan: "Oh God, I wish I had my pretty mind back."
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The whole mad scientist accreditation
sub-plot has an interesting history. Our overseers at SciFi,
both of whom are long gone, fooled themselves into thinking that
if we were somehow able to build an over-arching plot into our
show, people would start watching it. We didn't like the idea,
since the new shows are usually presented several weeks apart
and then never again shown in order; and we seem to write better
when we don't have to pay attention to stuff like plot. But, we
had to do it. It seemed sort of sad, really, because by this
time we were already pretty sure we were writing the last
season.
We all loved Leo, the club owner. He joins our pantheon of oily
guys, where he's welcomed by the likes of the oily guy in a
sweater dress, from episode
0418 - Attack Of The Eye Creatures, way back in the
Other Years.
The nightclub is called The Haunted House, and has an odd dragon
hovering over the stage, emitting smoke from its nostrils. I
assume this place actually existed, back in the Sixties. Anybody
out there remember it?
— Paul Chaplin
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