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Movie: Invasion Of The Neptune Men:
Filmed in exquisite Pain-O-Rama, this paean to Japan's failure
as a Twentieth Century World Power pits the fierce little
archipelago against a dozen lumbering mute robots in a rocket
which might at fullbore achieve dirigible-like speeds. The
eponymous invaders seem to have but one superhuman power, the
ability to transmogrify into transsexual infantrymen. But once
again, at the time of most critical need, the reigns of Japanese
governance are given to children. And not charming little
children, but mincing, horrid little spawn whose only redeeming
quality is that they can only become less annoying as adults.
Right on cue, the invaders invade, drooling Japanese scientists
are helpless, the military postures and rattles its flaccid
spears, and the children assume power and pull the country's
ohtoro out of the fire, again. Oh, and there's an impotent hero
named Space Chief. Starring no one, not a living soul, and
filmed in black and white so depressing it would drive Fred
Rogers to eat a Glock. Watch for a delightful cameo by Adolph
Hitler.
— Kevin Murphy
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Prologue:
Crow and Servo are disgusted by the thought of Mike having
eyelash mites, actual ravenous creatures living on his filthy
eyelids, and decide to take action.
Segment 1:
Crow and Tom ally with the Nanites and stage an all-out assault
against Mike's eyelash mites. But the Mites are too powerful for
the courageous Nanite forces, who are laid waste, in a scene in
which humor borders on the tragic, and, hopefully, makes gives
us all pause. Ah, hell, who am I kidding.
Meantime, Pearl and Observer, trapped in Ancient Rome, finally
meet up with Bobo, who has lost his memory and become the toast
of Rome as the Mad Goth, a savage gladiator with many a lion
kill under his belt. Bobo's a celebrity, and acts the part,
happily receiving a massive -and anatomically complimentary-
statue in his likeness.
Segment 2:
The Bots stage a Kabuki play, Mike mentions Noh Theater, the
Bots get confused and a lively wordplay sketch ensues. A tip of
the hat to The Marx Brothers and of course Abbott and Costello,
or maybe Allen and Rossi.
Segment 3:
Observer and Pearl try to convince Bobo that he is not the Mad
Goth, but all Bobo needs is a statue and a grape to make him
happy. Meanwhile Servo suffers form Roji Panty Complex, poor
guy. Mike applies panties.
Segment 4:
The Movie is getting our guys down. Mike and the Bots are
clearly struggling with this one. But who should happen along to
light up their lives but The Phantom Dictator of Krankor, from
episode 0816
- Prince Of Space!! ...So who is this clown, you ask? Did
you see episode 0816? No? Never mind. Think of it as Bill
Corbett in an embarrassing costume.
Segment 5:
Crow uses a fabricated suggestion box to try his hand at
Japan-bashing. Mike stops him just in time.
In Roman Times, Pearl, now fed up with Bobo, bashes him with a
stone tablet, resulting in Bobo regaining his memory, and
immediately getting them all arrested, complete with Nifty
Star-Trek-style end-of-the-segment tension hook. Enjoy in
moderation.
Stinger:
A little Japanese boy in glasses screams "Aaah! What's that?"
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