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Movie: Agent For H.A.R.M.:
Ah yes, it's the Sixties again, and studly secret agents are
running all over the place, proud and free. The eponymous "Agent
For H.A.R.M." is one Adam Chance, a joyless fellow who favors
yellow cardigan sweaters and looks like Dr. Smith's less
effeminate younger brother. Chance is assigned to protect one
Dr. Jan Steffánic, a scientist recently defected from a vague
Iron Curtain country (remember them?). Turns out Steffánic is on
the cutting edge of some wacko technology which shoots "spores"
at people, turning them into quivering masses of green-grey
fungus - quite a disgusting little fate, as you might imagine.
Dr. Steffánic also has a frequently-bikini-ed niece, who is
certifiably hot. And though she is easily 25 years younger than
Chance (really, when has that ever mattered in the world of
movies?), they become entangled. They survive an onslaught of
fey, mincing Euro-bad guys, one of whom is the artist known as
Prince. Turns out the niece - like most alluring women in these
kind of movies - is Evil and not to be trusted. She is exposed
as a double agent for the Commies, and then the movie mercifully
ends.
— Bill Corbett
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Prologue:
The 'Bots are really into Extreme Sports, man. Doesn't matter
what, as long as it's extreme and you can yell really loud while
doing it. This includes Extreme Yoga and Extreme Stamp
Collecting. They berate Mike for being so un-Extreme.
Segment 1:
Mike is whisked away from the SOL by a mysterious Intergalactic
Judge to stand trial for his recent rash of world-destroying.
Bobo is appointed his defense attorney. Pearl, of course, is the
prosecutor.
Segment 2:
Pearl and Bobo's opening statements. Bobo gets very off-track,
digressing mostly into ruminations about food. Mike feels
doomed.
Segment 3:
The 'Bots supply video testimony to the court. Servo mistakes
his with a T.V. telethon; Crow sinks Mike's boat even further
with a barrage of bleeped obscenities.
Segment 4:
Servo searches for a legal precedent that might help Mike.
Meanwhile down in the courtroom, the Observer testifies, adding
weight to Pearl's case. But then he's craftily trapped in a lie
about baking pies by Bobo, who knows his pies if he knows
anything.
Segment 5:
The 'Bots hold a candlelight vigil for Mike on the SOL.
Meanwhile, Pearl calls her final witness, Ortega, who is sealing
Mike's doom. Then Bobo counters with a little Amish boy, and all
heck breaks loose. Finally the verdict from the Judge: Mike is
guilty! And is sentenced to death! ...But this is quickly
commuted to community service. Back on the SOL, the 'Bots are
not shy in making Mike get right to it, cleaning up the mess
they made while he was away.
Stinger:
Basil Malko inflicts a spaz chop to
Professor Jan Stefánik.
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The generic-sixties-spy movie theme
from Agent for H.A.R.M. provided us all with yet another vehicle
to torture each other's already embattled psyches around here at
Best Brains - it was sung and hummed at top volume for weeks,
ultimately hurting everyone involved, I think.
This show had several milestones in it, if you're into that
kinda thing. It marked the directorial debut of one Michael
"Antonioni" Nelson, who did an excellent job despite the
pretentious on-set wardrobe of jodhpurs and riding crop. Mike
had a tough first assignment with our extended courtroom
scenario, which was a trip into the unfamiliar for all of us -
but came through with flying colors (or more appropriately, with
flying black and white). It was also the first show where the
voice of Gypsy was supplied by our own set-and-prop genius
Patrick Brantseg, filling Jim Mallon's big shoes extraordinarily
well, and wielding the often-unwieldy Gypsy like a pro.
I also think Mary Jo and Kevin reached new heights of funny for
Pearl and Bobo in the host segments, as attorneys for the
prosecution and defense, respectively. Our brilliant editor Brad
Keeley turned in a Cable Ace-worthy comic performance as the
little Amish boy, challenging our collective ability to keep a
collective straight face while taping. I played the
intergalactic judge, and though my voice changed accents and
octaves in every segment, it was, technically, supposed to be
only one consistent character - although when Brain Guy took the
stand, Paul sat in as the Judge. This is noticeable on
not-so-close scrutiny, since I weigh roughly four times what
Paul does, and it shows in the face.
— Bill Corbett
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