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Movie Summary  Movie: San Francisco International:  The focal point of this failed TV pilot is the astounding pomposity and self-absorption of Pernell Roberts. He plays an airport administrator. You'd think that's a pretty mundane job and you'd be right, but Pernell struts and preens like a balding cock-of-the-walk. Oh, he has his problems. Some mean guys plan to rob a Federal Reserve shipment, and in the process kidnap the wife of a pilot (played by the saggy David Hartman). And a newspaperman's dull-witted adenoidal son reacts to trouble at home by pilfering a plane and flying it away. He's never flown before, so Pernell has to talk him down. Dumb kid. Bonuses include Clu Gulager as a real mellow airport cop and Tab Hunter as a bad guy, but Pernell's gargantuan ego steals the show. — Paul Chaplin Host Segments  Prologue:  Crow and Servo engage in goofy political debate, with Mike moderating. "Dill is good spice! I will not have it maligned!"  Segment 1:  Forrester and Frank masquerade as sweaty, tanned construction workers. "...gotta tuck point that entire section up there, and that wall there, hoooly cats that's a project in itself..." Mike teaches the 'Bots the classic board gag, and hurts them.  Segment 2:  Mike is Urkel, from Family Matters! Everyone's delighted! Even Jan in the Pan! Even the Mads! Even Santa!  Segment 3:  Now Huggy Bear and Rooster are delighted by Urkel! And Pitch, in Deep 13!  Segment 4:  Mike's still Urkel! Nuveena's delighted and thrilled! But Torgo can't get into it, and the fun...just dissolves.  Segment 5:  Crow points out that David Hartman is an ugly, ugly man. Dr. F doesn't notice that his ears are growing and growing and becoming overgrown with greasy hair. They're about a foot long by the end.  Stinger:  Pernell Roberts: "My job, my way." Reflections We were all as surprised as could be that Clu Gulager's name is not Clu Gallagher. That's what we'd called him all through episode 0322 - Master Ninja I, his other appearance on our show. Mary Jo tells me she was in love with Clu Gulager while we did this show. That's over now though. Now she's in love with Al Gore. (Seems like a lateral move to me.) I recall that Adam (played by Pernell Roberts) was my favorite Bonanza son. Little Joe was cuter, of course, but something told me that as a young boy myself I shouldn't base my decision on such factors. Adam seemed mysterious and distant, and I liked that. I've striven to maintain a certain air of mystery myself as I go through life. To a great extent I've succeeded. My peers seem to gaze at me in wonder, as if they don't quite understand me, and yet their great respect is (to me) obvious. There are those who have suggested that basing three sketches on Urkel was an odd decision. Be that as it may the show became very complex to actually shoot, since it put all of us in makeup for brief character appearances. (I played "Pitch." His odd, grating laugh is simply the way I laugh. I'm sorry.) — Paul Chaplin