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Movie Summary  Movie: Santa Claus: According to this movie, Santa lives on a cloud positioned in high stationary orbit above earth, where he plays the organ as hundreds of child "volunteers" sing and work. Santa's in direct rivalry with Satan, who sends his demon Pitch to Earth to make "all the children of the world do evil." Pitch, an irritating bouncy fellow dressed all in red, tempts many children, notably Lupita, a tiny girl who's easily the most adorable child in any MST movie. She resists, heroically, in spite of her huge desire for "a dolly, any dolly." By contrast, three brothers are revealed as unbelieving hypocrites and are properly shamed. Santa watches these goings-on via a startling array of monitoring equipment, like a huge eye mounted on a tentacle, all maintained by his chief technician, pint-sized Pedro. Christmas Eve sees Santa treed by a hound, which is bad, since at dawn his reindeer turn to dust. Merlin (who also lives on the cloud, by the way) helps Santa get free, and he drops a gigantic dolly at Lupita's before rocketing back to space. — Paul Chaplin Host Segments  Prologue:  An SOL caroling session disintegrates when Mike spills hot cocoa on Crow.  Segment 1:  Frank shaves his head and gives Dr. F. a watch fob (not that he sold his hair); Dr. F. hastily signs over to Frank one of his own $25.00 savings bonds. Mike gives Crow a Steve Alaimo album; Crow gives Servo the "1991 Drug IV Component chart"; Servo gives Gypsy underwear in a candy cane. (She's embarrassed.)  Segment 2:  On the SOL, the heavy metal band "Santa Klaws" sings of a rather gruesome Yule.  Segment 3:  The 'Bots surprise Mike by contacting his family in Green Bay. They're the wrong Nelsons. Mike's not from Green Bay. Mary Jo, as the taciturn missus: "That's different."  Segment 4:  Mike, Crow and Servo sing an inclusive Christmas carol. "Let us all now sing our praises to the Lord today/ Although you may not share our belief system, which is perfectly okay."  Segment 5:  A gorgeous snowstorm in space assuages Mike's homesickness. Pitch visits Deep 13, impressing the Mads no end with his evilness. Then Santa shows up, and a lights-out wrestling match ensues.  Stinger:  Hideous laughing reindeer. Reflections From my point of view, the filmmakers betray some confusion regarding the substance of Christianity. While they seem at least dimly aware of the name "Jesus," they clearly reserve their deepest worship for jolly old St. Nick. On what ancient texts do they base their fervor? I recall no references to the Son of Man winking and laying his finger alongside of his nose. When would that have been appropriate—after the miracle of Lazarus? On the road to Emmaus? I will grant that my view of a Christian God allows for a sense of humor, but a God who shakes when he laughs like a bowlful of jelly is outside any tradition I grew up with. That said, it's kind of a fun movie, and we all enjoyed it. I played Pitch in the last segment, and to tell the truth, I liked the way I looked. I made quite an attractive demon. — Paul Chaplin