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Movie Summary  Short: Circus On Ice:  The short documents a skating extravaganza that "winds up Toronto's skating season." There are skaters playing dragons, a skater playing a fawn getting shot (sad really), skaters playing themselves skating. It's less a circus than a dance show, but then, I'm not from Toronto, so who am I to quibble.  Movie: Monster A Go-Go:  A narrator assures us that the random bits of film we're seeing represent the search for an astronaut lost when his capsule crashes. The dialogue is garbled beyond recognition. Various things happen, a monsterish sort of fellow wanders around a field, there's an extended night scene in Chicago, then everything stops. "There was no monster," says the narrator. Nothing happened—false alarm—sorry to make you sit through the movie. — Paul Chaplin Host Segments  Prologue:  Crow and Servo start a micro-cheeserie. Servo, above the din: "Now, understand, Joel, this is just the mixing tank. Over here is where the starter is added..."  Invention:  Forrester proposes an Action Hero competition. The Mads design Johnny Longtorso, the man who comes in pieces." (He comes in a lot of pieces, thereby cash flow from accessories.) Joel and the 'Bots offer affordable, nonviolent action figures, like Wilma Rudolph.  Segment 2:  Gypsy doesn't get Crow. He tries to explain himself, but she's not sure what it is. "Maybe it's Servo I don't get." Servo: "Nobody does. I'm the wind, baby. "  Segment 3:  Servo and Joel play keep-away from Crow. The high jinks extend all the way into the theater, where Servo catches the last toss.  Segment 4:  Joel offers to answer any question in the universe:. the 'Bots ask him to explain the "Piña Colada Song." He tries, but they reject the song's plausibility: "Since seventy-two percent of the population of North America lives in a landlocked state or province, in actuality they have no idea whether or not they like making love on the dunes on the cape!"  Segment 5:  Joel tries to cheer up the Bots by making Tom a "Happy King" and Crow "Sir Giggles Von Laughs-A-Lot. They cheer up a little. Forrester gloats.  Stinger:  The monstronaut looking around, peeved. Reflections I recall this episode as being the first time we decided explicitly to write sketches having nothing to do with the movie. Really, we had no choice. We ran through a long string of topics trying to find one that had something to do with the movie, but since the movie is about nothing, any topic that is about something (that is, any topic that exhibits "topicness") cannot, by definition, have anything to do with this movie. Understand? Interesting philosophical dilemma. I think we solved it nicely. We all had a hearty laugh at the human voice imitating a phone ring. I hope you enjoyed it too. Along with "Play it again, Sam," "There was no monster" has entered common parlance. Just to help you win a few bar bets, here's the actual line: "Suddenly there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called Douglas to be followed. There was nothing in the tunnel but the puzzled men of courage who suddenly found themselves alone with shadows and darkness...." ...By the way, this is officially the worst movie we ever did.... "...Frank Douglas was rescued alive, well, and of normal size some 8,000 miles away..." — Paul Chaplin