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Movie Summary  Movie: Attack Of The Eye Creatures:  This one wanders all over the place. Just a terrible movie. The "eye creatures" of the title are aliens covered with eyes, or maybe they're covered with frogs' eggs. They plop their ship down near a town filled with oily teenagers and even oilier soldiers; there's also a Jerry Garcia-ish coot who "hates them blasted smoochers." Once in a while the aliens gather to slap an Earthling to death. The adults are typically pigheaded, but the kids figure out the eye creatures die under bright lights. They take a break from fornicating long enough to off the creatures with their headlights. One irritating subplot, involving two young drifting ne'er-do-wells, is worth mentioning only because one of them is so oily that you can't even believe it. It's this movie's notion of a sympathetic character: an oily, oily man who wears a sweater-dress to bed. — Paul Chaplin Host Segments  Prologue:  Servo and Crow go through a very brief "best friends" phase.  Invention:  The Mads contact dead woodworkers with the Router Ouija Board. "We are in contact with someone—or something—named Ethan Allen!" Joel and the 'Bots demonstrate the Funny Gag Fax, and squirt the Mads with it.  Segment 2:  Out of curiosity Servo wants to kiss somebody, anybody, like the necking kids in the movie. Joel finally complies.  Segment 3:  A celebration of EARL HOLLIMAN!! "Because who can forget EARL HOLLIMAN'S groundbreaking role in Police Woman!"  Segment 4:  The Rip Taylor Trio take off on all the eyes the eye creatures have. "The Eye Creatures' mucous drool bucket—because they would need a big...he-heh...it's funny!!!"  Segment 5:  The SOL presents frames from the movie as evidence that the producers just didn't care. In Deep 13, slack-jawed director Larry Buchanan (Mike Nelson) dreamily agrees: He didn't care.  Stinger:  Shot of oily guy in his dress. Reflections A hallmark of the film is the characters' extreme oiliness. It made me wonder: Was it acceptable to be oily back in the early 1960s? Was it even considered sexually desirable? Maybe so—maybe we all were simply more oily. It would explain the discipline and courage with which the Vietcong opposed us for so many years. The scenes where the oily soldiers use remote cameras to spy on the necking teenagers are so loathsome, and betray such a need on the filmmakers' part to swim and grovel in grime and snot and oil. Early on, there's a fake film clip purporting to show the arrival of the aliens' saucer, as documented by the military. Peter Graves does the narration for this clip, during an oily phase of his career. This is the movie with the famous "double the"—the opening title reads Attack Of The The Eye Creatures. Probably some really oily guy made that mistake. — Paul Chaplin