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Movie Summary  Short: General Hospital:  The short is a ten minute early Sixties chunk of the long running soap opera. It's claustrophobic and depressing, so you can see why the series is popular as an escapist fantasy.  Movie: The Beatniks:  Young singer Eddy Crane is on his way to stardom. But Eddy can't escape the pull of his fun-loving hoodlum friends. Particularly problematic is his friendship with the shrieking psychotic, Mooney, who kills a fat barkeep; and he can't shake his girlfriend, Iris, even though she irritates the hell out of him. In the end, craggy agent Harry Bayliss and Eddy's new flirt, Helen, pull him back from the brink. Mooney is sedated and nailed for the fat barkeep job. — Paul Chaplin Host Segments  Prologue:  Joel plays sadistic Rock-Paper-Scissors with the 'Bots.  Invention:  The Mads try for popularity with coeds by wearing Good Luck Troll costumes, which reveal big plastic butts. Joel plays Pocket Pool, complete with a cue thrust into his pocket, and green felt underwear.  Segment 2:  Joel, Crow, and Servo explain how to know when you're not a beatnik. (If you find yourself saying things like "Please pass the spring rolls" or "Hey, I really like the gym teacher," chances are you aren't a beatnik.)  Segment 3:  The 'Bots have a slumber party, and scream their teenage girl-style devotion to singer and star of our movie Tony Travis. After Joel remembers that he went to high school with Tony Travis, they even call him. It's disappointing.  Segment 4:  Joel and the 'Bots dramatize the meteoric career of singing sensation Tom Servo. Joel: "Tom Servo: Everything he touched he destroyed. We'll be right back."  Segment 5:  After a letter, the crime-spreeing Crow rubber-knifes Servo. The Mads, still trolls, can't push the button with their goofy hands. You get to see Frank's butt.  Stinger:  Mooney shrieking and hurling his gun. Reflections The Beatniks provided us with two of our favorite catchphrases, lines of dialogue we find useful in almost any movie: A. "Shut up, Iris. I tell ya shut up." B. "I killed that fat barkeep!" For those who haven't seen the movie, it may be a little hard to understand the impact of "I killed that fat barkeep." Said improperly, it's a bland line. That is, there are probably situations where killing a fat barkeep is barely worth mentioning, so it's important that the line be delivered with proper emotion—to convey the sense that this was a big deal, killing that fat barkeep. Peter as Mooney comes through big. If you want to try "I killed that fat barkeep" yourself, go for a sort of manic falsetto scream. If you can flail about and then suddenly scrunch yourself into a ball, all the better. (Do not go out and actually kill a fat barkeep in order to attain the proper mood.) Some years later, Peter Breck showed up as Nick Barkley, one of Barbara Stanwyck's three sons on The Big Valley. Great show. — Paul Chaplin