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Movie Summary  Movie: Hercules Against The Moon Men:  The people of Samar are straining under the yoke of an oppressive state-funded sacrifice program. They begin to chafe at the thought of sending all their children to die at the foot of a mountain with unexplained, even tenuous powers. Wizened old Claudius pleads with Her Voluptuousness, Queen Samara, to stop sending the sacrifices and instead hire Hercules as an independent contractor to rid the mountain of whatever evil presence is there. Unbeknownst to the poor, crusty old dope, Samara is in league with the mountain people, weird, owly creatures from the moon, and has Claudius put to death in a Rube Goldberg/Jean Paul Sartrian contraption that requires that nearly a thousand different parameters align at exactly the right second. They do. Herc is then hired by Claudius's daughter to protect Dereks, the well-intentioned, not-overly-bright resistance leader who is betrothed to the queen's half sister, Phyllis. This unlucky young woman is given to the Moon Men, hooked to a machine, and bled like King George. Eventually, Hercules beats up enough people that everything turns out okay. — Mike Nelson Host Segments  Prologue:  Tom and Crow decide to run away - Joel's side of the ship has become too square for them. They get in a fight and return instantly.  Invention:  The Mads unveil Deep Hurting, and the painful sandstorm process. Joel and the Robots have a super freak-out.  Segment 2:  Joel and the 'Bots do the mystifying knife illusion culminating in a hilarious "joke" ending.  Segment 3:  Joel gives the Robots huge Alan Steel-Iike arms and then they think of appropriate names to go along with them.  Segment 4:  Joel, Crow and Tom sing a loving Tribute To Pants. Frank joins them but is caught by Forrester and snaps into Deep Hurting mode.  Segment 5:  They discuss the Wayne Rogers syndrome, the theory that Wayne Rogers replaces anyone who can't be secured for the television version of a movie. Crow gets a time-out.  Stinger:  The old man falls prey to the classic spikes-in-the-wall gag. Reflections I submit that Alan Steel is a pale simulacrum of Steve Reeves. Although Steel captures the vapidity of our steroidal hero nicely, he lacks the dash and vitality of Reeves. He seems not to relish his brainless conquests in the manner of a Reeves, a Park, or even your Ferrigno. It's just lucky he didn't derail the Hercules juggernaut entirely (if I may mix my metaphors). I feel it only fair to note that the majority of writers disagree with my assessment and find Reg "Hercules And The Captive Women" Park to be far inferior to Alan Steel. Paul kept pushing the issue, needling me until I had to hit him. — Mike Nelson