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Movie Summary  Movie: The Castle Of Fu Manchu:  Christopher Lee plays Fu Manchu, a sullen Chinaman who's got it in for everybody. He's figured out how to turn all the Earth's water into ice (besides freezing it) and plans to destroy the world, etc. A tall drink of water himself, he's opposed by a British fellow named Nayland Smith and his trusty sidekick, Dr. Petrie. Fu takes over the governor's castle in Istanbul and pretty soon he's destroying the world. There's opium dealers too, and a woman named Ingrid, who's kinda purty. Everything gets straightened out, though I just watched the whole movie and I couldn't tell you how. — Paul Chaplin Host Segments  Prologue:  The whole crew marches and sings a rousing "Satellite of Love" song. "We don't care, don't despair, we're not wearing our underwear, we're on the Satellite of Love!"  Invention:  Joel forgets about the invention, so Crow and Servo have one of their own, a new long-distance telephone transducer. Forrester's Stinky Bomb turns Frank into Stinky.  Segment 2:  Crow editorializes about the "Miss Saigon Syndrome"—Caucasian actors cast in non-Caucasian roles. He breaks down, and the Mads gloat.  Segment 3:  The crew pretends they're Shriners on fake magic carpets. The sketch is based so tenuously on something in the movie (there are fezzes) that Servo breaks down. The Mads gloat some more.  Segment 4:  Crow and Servo weep, but Joel forges ahead with his illustrated story of the life of Fu Manchu. "He began his career as most hopefuls do, running cigarettes for Agnes de Mille." The Mads gloat.  Segment 5:  Everyone's downcast and crying. The Mads celebrate, but agree to Joel's challenge to try throwing comments back at the movie. They don't do very well. "Here comes this guy again..."  Stinger:  Two guys leap on another guy. Reflections This movie's mentioned every time we gather and talk about the worst ones we've ever done. It looks okay and the music isn't too bad, but the plot stinks like crap. We NEVER knew what was going on. I've been to Istanbul, so I can vouch for the fact that the city in this movie does indeed seem to be Istanbul. That doesn't make it a better movie. I just want to let everybody know I've been to Istanbul. I'll probably bring it up again. The pattern of the host segments, with Joel and the 'Bots continually breaking down while the Mads gloat, is a direct result of how bad the movie is, and how hard it was for us to write. We write the host segments the day after we watch the movie the first time, so we're filled with whatever pain the movie provides. This time we couldn't think of host segments related to the movie, and we resented having to think about it. We can get kinda pissy at times like that. At one point we identify dotty old Dr. Petrie as "Gadabout Gaddis." Perhaps you don't know who that is. Gadabout Gaddis, the "Flying Fisherman," had a TV show by that name back in the 1960s. The show moved slow as the Red Cedar River in August. The elderly Mr. Gaddis would catch a few bluegills and mutter a few pointers, more to himself than to any audience he might have. He owned an airplane, so I guess he was a "flying" fisherman, but he rarely flew anywhere it wouldn't have been as easy to drive to, or even just walk. I'm afraid Gadabout wouldn't make it in today's world of 110-horsepower rock 'n' roll bass masters. Sure, Babe Winkelman catches more fish; but is he really a "better" fisherman? — Paul Chaplin