Castle Forrester | Media Vault | Chats | Bill Corbett - November 28, 2001

If you have a question for Bill Corbett, please send it to me as a private message.

So...live from Dick Cheney's secret bunker, it's our very own Bill Corbett!

Hello all you beautiful people!

Yeah, I'm working in primitive conditions. Crappy computer, bad chair.

Known to many of you as "Brain Guy" and "Crow T. Robot," and more recently as the titular "Edward the Less."

The Taliban looking over my shoulder. Scram, guys!

Thanks for making online with us tonight. Do you have any opening remarks for the assembled throng?

Oooh...you called me "titular"...Is that dirty?

Nothing profound, as ever. Thanks for coming to talk to me, everyone. I get lonely.

OK, then let's make with the questions.

LET'S CHAAAAAAAAT!!!

Questions?

Question: Mike and Kevin have book projects going - do you have any book plans?

OK G'night!!!

Not collectively. Mike and Kevin each have their own. But I'm....well, I'm a tad illiterate. I AM doing a scathing bio of Jonathan Harris, though. Oh the pain!

For some reason, I can suddenly picture you starring in a one-man Jonathan Harris show.

...fell asleep.

Think about it.

Question: How does it feel working with some of your old co-stars again?

Well, you can't get much campier than Brain Guy, eh? Hee hee. He just got gayer as we went on.

To answer: It feels great working with my buddies again. I have a blast with those guys. They be smart! And we all like beer, so that's a bonus.

Question: Thanks for coming to chat with us, Bill Corbett! :) Here's my question: Is "Edward the Less" a playful homage to LOTR or taking a jab at the upcoming film(s)?

My pleasure, chatting and all -- nice break from my job at Sox Appeal.

We haven't seen the upcoming film, but we DO know it's upcoming. More of a jabbing homage at Hobbits -- do you like those guys? I sure don't.

Question: This may sound like a weird question, but here goes: Irony is one of the tools you use in your work. Right after Sept. 11 there were a couple of commentaries pronouncing the death of irony? Are you glad it's still with us?

Great question. Well, it's like this, in my opinion:

REAL irony is not just trite sarcasm. Not that we (us ex-Brainers) haven't trafficked in that sometimes as well as fart jokes and such. It's good and right that we mourn the Sept. 11 events and give the victims the respect, comfort and love they need, but this should never lead to a joyless world. Real irony is profound, in my opinion, and address the real contradictions of life, albeit in a playful way sometimes. I think we took a proper moment to consider what these horrible events mean and to look at our lives in relation to them.

The "what's really important?" questions. But I think it's clear that laughter and joy ARE important. Profoundly so and in many ways the answer to violence and cruelty and rigid ways if thinking that lead to those things of thinking, I meant.

End of sermon :)

(Thanks for that question -- it's something I've been thinking a lot about -- obviously!)

Question: Bill Corbett, did all those people who said they hated crow's new voice ever bug you? Get you down?

To be quite honest, I never heard that many people say that they hated Crow's new voice. Maybe I was shielded by Best Brains, I dunno! But I would understand it, if they didn't care for it. Trace was an amazing talent.

And my best hope was to not f**k the show up at first. But then I relaxed a bit, drank a lot, etc. Actually people, on the whole, were extremely kind. So thanks and all.

Question: All the folks at Best Brains had such diverse knowledge. Do you have a particular field you brought to the group?

I was the token ignorant guy who knew very little.

Um: pretty good knowledge of politics, literature, sports, but nowhere near to match Paul's encyclopedic knowledge! And I am an expert in all things to do with James Coburn. Ask me anything!!!

Question: Are there any episodes of MST3K that stand out in your mind as the most fun to have done? And on the other extreme any episodes you wished that you hadn't done?

Let me start with the negative, since I am from Brooklyn, and it is our Way there:

Those Southern-y films in the last two seasons drove me batty. Squirm, Boggy Creek, etc.

And I think we devolved into Southern-bashing once too many times.

Favorites: Strangely, Jack Frost tickled me a lot. Horror of Party Beach, don't know why. Prince of Space, 'cause I got to play Krankor and do that annoying laugh. OH! Prince of Space!

And though your weapons ARE useless against me, I invite you to ask another question.

I'll take you up on that invitation.

Question: Another question but this one begins with a personal comment. The ending skit of "Girl in Gold Boots" where Brain Guy is dressed in the go-go dancer outfit was the most freakishly hilarious thing I've ever witnessed. How did you keep a straight face? Also can you name any occasions that were hard to work through without cracking up?

Ooh, big ol' question. Give me ten minutes to read it, 'k?

Oh my god that skit is still on TAPE? They still SHOW IT? Excuse me while I commit ritual seppuku.

Well, thank you. I was wearing my own wardrobe in that skit, that's the scary part. I was reduced to blubbering laughter on the set many many times, thanks to Kevin and Mike and Mary Jo. We had a good time. **sniff!**

Now I work at Chuck E. Cheese, it's less fun.

Question: What genre of movies is your favorite? Also, what are some of your favorite movies? BTW, I miss MST3K!

I really don't have a particular genre I favor. I love some talky little indies, aka Sexy Beast and big-ass mainstream things sometimes -- loved the Matrix. Am I a cliché or what?

The Matrix actually made Keanu Reeves seems like a sentient being.

Question: Did you get to hang onto any MST memorabilia for a keepsake or was it all sold on eBay?

Most of it was sold on eBay. I got a # 3 pencil, but the point broke.

I have one keepsake: the little gold Crow that was used in the 'bots angry puppet show after the Gumby short. I sleep with it under my pillow. Sad, really.

Question: "Edward" is the best web show I've ever seen! If it's successful enough, is there a way to market it so we can view it on something better quality than Realplayer?

I hope so. And thank you!

How is Edward the Less like you and not like you?

If the Edward the Less were a tree, I think he'd be me. Huh?

Um: I am a twitch taller. Edward is a bit scrappy, I guess compared to his passive fellow pudges.

Hmm...Bill Corbett seems to have gone "poof." What have you guys done with Bill Corbett? Hang tight -- we'll go unmoderated while I look for Mr. Corbett. Ladies and gentlemen, I've just received word...

For the remainder of our chat, the part of Bill Corbett will be played by Trace Beaulieu. (Just kidding. Bill Corbett is trying to reconnect as I type.)

OK, welcome back, Bill Corbett.

So, you were telling us how you were (or weren't) like Edward...? Hmm...?

Hang on a sec...

OK, just talked to Bill Corbett on the phone...he's connecting again. Now kids, it's not fun to pretend to be Mr. Corbett, 'cause then he can't connect. And, no, I will not sell you Bill Corbett's phone number. I do have some naked pictures of Kevin Murphy that I'm planning to put up on eBay soon, though.

Sorry for the delay...shouldn't be more than another moment or two. Now might perhaps be an excellent time to peruse the fabulous Edward the Less website. (http://www.scifi.com/edwardtheless/)

Hmm...hang one on sec, Bill Corbett's on the phone again. We should be back in business, well, eventually.

Ok, we have Bill Corbett back...finally!

Good God.

He and Dick Cheney have been moved to their new secure location, and we're ready to resume.

So, what's new since last we spoke?

I'm SO sorry. Damn Taliban. They took away my computer for listening to the Sex Pistols. I've aged alot, Moderator.

I was SO SCARED!

It's OK, we're all back together now.

Anyway, thank you for hanging in, everyone.

Here's, a question that will make you feel better:

Question: Do you have any zany anecdotes to share from the Edward the Less recording booth? Or was doing the voices a serious, straightforward affair?

So sorry. Zany, no, but madcap, yes. Kevin kept pulling out nose hairs, it was fun! Um, it was crowded in there, which was...close and a bit airless but we yukked it up. It was actually tremendous fun.

I loved how we seemed to get our timing back instantly. Except for Mike, who was heavily doped up on Robitussin.

Question: When and how did Mary Jo Pehl come onboard the Edward the Less project? Or was she in it from the beginning?

(I have about another 25 minutes).

Mary Jo wasn't in on it from the beginning -- she lives in NYC now, and we did it in Minneapolis. Also, Mary Jo has a sense of dignity, which we seem to lack. But once it was a "go" to do the voices we knew we wanted her involved in some way.

Unfortunately, there aren't many (any?) great women's parts in Edward, at least yet, but we asked her in just to do some voices and (mostly) hang out with us. She had all these "New York"-y airs and wore furs and diamonds and all but eventually warmed up. J/K - she's the greatest.

Question: Bill Corbett, I noticed that the IceBox site is back up. Are you doing any more work on Poker Night or are you finished with that project?

No more work on the doggies. Icebox is back in a kind of skeletal form. My partner Rob and I have had some discussions out in Hollyweird about related projects, but nothing solid yet. But who knows? Could be more dumb neutering jokes yet. Hee hee.

Question: Have you ever visited the "Caption This!" site on MST3K.com?

(or SCIFI.COM, since that's where it really is)

Yes I have. You guys are funneeee. Nice work.

Question: It seems that you do more reflections on the MST3K page than anyone, did you guys choose who did it, or did you just do it for the heck of it?

(those are from the episode guides, right?)

Actually I think Paul sets the record -- he was the default guy to do it for a while. Mine just seem like more, because I have no sense of brevity. And I'm VERY reflective.

**Urp!* -- 'scuse me.

Question: Kevin Murphy has said that whether or not there is another season of MST3K is up to us. What would we have to do to get another one? And would you join the cast again if they did agree to another?

I had a wonderful time doing MST3K, and would do it again in a second. I may not be as optimistic as Kevin, though, as to whether another season is possible, but he knows more than me (except about James Coburn). I also don't know that it's right to keep asking the fans to go to bat for us yet again, unless there is a real possibility we know of. But what do I know is that I can barely tie my shoes.

Kevin is a good, dear, sweet, funny man. But he'll lead you down the primrose path to hell. I know, I've been there.

(Hi Kevin!)

Question: Besides your TV and web work, you're also a successful playwright. Do you happen to have any new (or old) plays coming soon to a theater near us?

(Or, phrased another way: Say Bill Corbett are you going to write any more plays or get them produced?)

I have a few plays that seem to keep circulating around the country, and I'm very lucky to have that. But I'm (finally!) working on some new stuff now. Including a couple of play commissions. More info to follow (eventually!) Thanks for asking and letting me do some SSP (shameless self-promotion).

Question: Bill Corbett, as you are both playwrights from the Minneapolis area, have you ever had any dealings/meetings with Garrison Keillor?

Yes. I wrote some things for ol' Garrison, but found that he was too tall to work for. I wrote some skits for Prairie Home Companion, then he revised them. I admire him as a writer, and think his monologues are pretty brilliant, but when we spoke it was like we were from other planets, so we agreed to fire me.

(No, not so harsh -- just got busy with other stuff...)

Question: If a group of MSTies and a group of Trekkies got in a fight, who would win?

MSTies would clean their clocks before the poor dopes ever got out their plastic phasers. There would be blood and fake Vulcan ear-things all over the floor. 'Wouldn't be pretty.

If you guys fight them, can I come? I want to sucker punch a Kirk wannabe.

Bill Corbett vs. Bill Corbett Shatner in the ultimate grudge match. Neato.

And I don't even wear a girdle! (maybe I should...hmmm...)

If he started singing Mr. Tambourine Man I'd have to cover my ears, then he could get me...

Question: Be honest: Did things ever get 'amorous' between Pearl and Brain Guy when we weren't looking?

***shudders***

(About ten more minutes then I gotta go...)

Pearl and Brain Guy?

Good God, No. He only liked non-corporal beings. Corporeal? Or corporeal men in uniform. Yikes, erase that!!!!!!

We'll fix it in post. Keep going.

Before I shame myself further...

Question: I have seen a lot of Boy Scout jokes over the years on the show. Were you ever a scout?

(must THINK before typing...must THINK before typing...)

I was a scout, but not a serious scout -- I think I was a Tenderfoot for three years, never tried to advance. The Eagle guys were disturbing. We had a lot of scout jokes?

You sure you don't mean about Bruce and Demi's kid?

Question: Bill Corbett, are you bald? Even though I saw Brain guy with hair once.

I am differently follicled. No, not total baldino, but inching my way there slowly. I keep my head nearly shaved during the MST years, so it looked a little shinier. I am now trying Miracle-Gro on my head.

Question: My question is: Now that GatewayCon has ceased to be, do you think you or any of the other Brains would consider going to cons in other areas (the NJ/NYC/PA area for instance)?

Yes, I think we'd enjoy that. Gateway was great fun. If you build it, we will come.

We've got time for only a couple more questions.

(two/three more maybe?)

Send your final ones in now.

What he said!

Question: What makes you laugh Mr. Corbett?

Sunshine, puppy dogs, a walk on the beach... Wait, that's my personal ad. Many things...I'm basically insane, but I'm a fan of behavioral humor than jokey humor, as a rule. Love slapstick. Basically anything short of Carrot Top can make me laugh. Abusive, ultra-sarcastic humor? Nahhh.

Question: Were you satisfied with the way MST3K ended (the final episode I mean) if not, how would you change it?

I liked the way it ended VERY MUCH.

I just don't like that it ended. "DIABOLIK" was an odd one to go out on, but I guess any movie would have been. Might have been nicer if we could have dug up an unused GAMERA or something, though.

I was hoping for Berlin Alexanderplatz.

Or MANOS II: The Next Day. At least it'd be long! :)

We'd still be doing it now.

One more, then?

OK, last question for the night:

Question: What's next after Edward the Less?

Edward the Even Lesser. Um, I honestly don't know right now. This is an odd world we all work in. Sometimes promising things come to naught. Then sometimes you get a gift out of the blue. We will let you know.

I want to thank you all for coming out tonight and chatting with me. I had a lot of fun. Apologies for getting lost for a while, there...

It was great having you as our guest, Bill Corbett.

Thank you!

Thanks everyone for joining us tonight, and thanks for sticking around through our technical difficulties.

And special thanks to our guest Bill Corbett, whose dulcet tones can currently be heard on The Adventures of Edward the Less (http://www.scifi.com/edwardtheless).

Happy holidays my friends!

And on MST3K most Saturday mornings.

We're now going to go unmoderated...please stand by.