"If Chauffeurs Ruled The World" Experiment 0206 - Ring Of Terror This web site requires use of the Macromedia Flash software for this feature.

"If Chauffeurs Ruled The World" Song Lyrics (spoken) Hey, it wasn't my fault that we showed that Phantom Creep at the end. Uh, it's Dr. Forrester who calls all the shots around here. Uh, if you ask me, that chauffeur had the right idea. As a matter of fact, I prepared a little number: (Spotlight on Frank who gets out of cardboard limo and dons a chauffeur hat and white gloves. Dr. Forrester "sits" in back of limo reading paper.) - TV's Frank If chauffeurs ruled the world— it's what I'd like to see 'cause everyone in the world would take a back seat to me. I wouldn't have to drive— I wouldn't have to steer— 'cause all would bow down before me in total abject fear. All the gorgeous dames would worship at my feet! Why—I could have any one of them I want! Even Meryl Streep! I'd have complete respect of everyone on the planet including intellectuals, even David Mamet. (Frank dusts off cardboard car and Dr. Forrester gets angry.) - TV's Frank Tell me, why do I have to take orders from this guy? I'd like to drop him in a bucket of boiling grease and watch him slowly die. - TV's Frank (spoken) That's enough, Frank. - Dr. Clayton Forrester If chauffeurs ruled the world— - TV's Frank (spoken) That's enough, Frank! FRANK! (Picks up cardboard limo and dumps it over Frank's head.) - Dr. Clayton Forrester —is what I'd like to see— - TV's Frank (spoken) That's enough! - Dr. Clayton Forrester —'cause everyone in the world would take a back seat to me—Mommy! (Dr. Forrester dumps newspaper on top of Frank.) - TV's Frank