Joel:
(spoken)
You know, I think it's kind of, uh, hot to be wearing these
scarves in here.
Servo:
(spoken)
Oh, yeah.
Crow:
(spoken)
Well, scarves are a must. You can't go caroling without a scarf.
Catch your death!
Joel:
(spoken)
Man, you were like one of those kids I remember in, uh, high
school that used to sell the most candy bars for the marching
band.
Servo:
(spoken)
Yeah, and you'd be president of the swing choir, too.
Crow:
(spoken)
Ha ha! Ah, thanks, Joel Robinson. Thanks, Tom Servo.
Servo:
(spoken)
What a kiss-up, this guy.
Crow:
(spoken)
Okay, now if you'll all look at your sheet music, uh, we can
rehearse my new song.
Joel:
(spoken)
You wrote a Christmas song?
Crow:
(spoken)
Hey, there's no tradition like a new tradition! Ha ha ha!
Servo:
(spoken)
Um, wait a minute. Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas?
Crow:
(spoken)
Oh, yeah, yeah. Based on my favorite movie, "Roadhouse."
Servo:
(spoken)
C'mon, what the heck does PATRICK SWAYZE have to do with
CHRISTMAS?!
Crow:
(spoken)
Hey, you keep Christmas in your way, and let me keep it in mine,
okay?
Servo:
(spoken)
Oh, jeeesss.
Joel:
(spoken)
Hey, c'mon, Tom Servo, it seems like a nice enough sentiment and
we can give it a shot. C'mon.
Crow:
(spoken)
All right. Okay. Okay. Uh, 12/8 time, uh, key of A-flat major—
Servo:
(spoken)
Good.
Crow:
(spoken)
Uh, Cambot, shoot 'em the tune. Uh, okay, you'll just have to
stay with me, everybody, okay? Uh, your part's written out.
Let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, by Crow T. Robot.
Joel:
(spoken)
Paul, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas?
Crow:
(spoken)
Right. Hit it, Cambot!
Servo:
(spoken)
Oh! Oh, I start. I get it. Hmm.
Crow:
(spoken)
I'm sorry.
Servo:
(spoken)
Pick it up.
(sings)
Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
Crow:
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
Servo:
(spoken)
Not bad!
Joel:
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
Crow and Servo:
We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.
Servo:
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Crow:
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!
Joel:
(spoken)
Hold it, hold it a sec. Cambot, stop it. Uh, Crow, I don't know
if I think this is an appropriate sentiment anymore for
Christmas.
Crow:
(spoken)
Hey, what? Like a good action sequence don't belong in
Christmas?
Joel:
(spoken)
Well, no, it's just that I've never heard of an action sequence
in a Christmas carol before.
Servo:
(spoken)
Well, yeah!
Crow:
(spoken)
Well, then grab hold of your socks and read on, Joel Robinson!
Servo:
(spoken)
Okay, pick it up from measure 20, Cambot.
Lovely intro, though.
Very tasteful.
Crow:
(spoken)
Thank you.
Servo:
(spoken)
I like that.
(sings)
It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
Crow:
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
Joel:
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
Crow and Servo:
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will,
ohh,
Joel, Crow and Servo:
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this
can be the haziest—
This can be the laziest—
This can
be the Swayziest Christmas of them AAALLLLLLLLLL!
Servo:
La la la laa ha HA-HAA!
Crow:
(spoken)
How long before it becomes a standard?
Joel:
(spoken)
I think you gotta come with me. C'mon.
Crow:
(spoken)
Waaaaah!
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