Crow:
(spoken)
I'm confused. Uh, Just who is this
Godzilla guy?
Servo:
(spoken)
Yes, wise one. Please, teach us.
Joel:
(spoken)
I don't know if you're ready for this.
Servo:
(spoken)
(At same time as Crow) Oh, please Mr. Joel. Please! Come on.
Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!
Crow:
(spoken)
(At same time as Servo) Oh, please! Please! Pleeeeease!
Joel:
(spoken)
Okay, my little robot friends, but we only pass this way once.
This is called the "Godzilla Geneaology Bop." Would you hit it,
Professor Cambot?
(music starts)
Joel:
In order to know Godzilla, we've got to look into his past.
Crow:
You know studying genealogy is gonna be a blast.
Joel:
Ah, you've got it little robot pal, we're swinging into high.
Servo:
Come on, let's cut to the chase you couple of geeks, and get to
the family tree!
Crow:
Huh?
Joel:
Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were
released.
Servo:
Oh, like—
Servo and Crow:
—baby alligators and other nasty beasts?
Joel:
Right. The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times
their size.
Servo:
Oh.
Crow:
Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous
thighs!
Joel:
Right.
Servo:
Ah!
Joel:
Now you're getting it little buddy—
Crow:
Ah!
Joel:
—but now we must move on.
Servo:
Uh huh.
Joel:
Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-bomb.
Servo:
Yeah. Look, there's Aunty Ness from Scotland's Loch, they
married in the spring. And their first-born was Godzookie, and
now we begin to sing!
(in background)
Bop be du-bop! Be du-bidie du be du bop....
(you got the picture....)
Crow:
Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars. He had an
affair with Lorna Lufts and smoked a big cigar.
Servo:
And outta the lust of the love affair Rob Pearlman resulted.
Crow:
Huh!
Joel:
You know, surgery was considered for him, but nobody was
consulted! Oh, I did it again.
Crow:
Then Ron met Yoko Ono, and they began to spawn a couple of
hundred horrible things as green as forest lawn.
Servo:
There they are: there's Kermit the Frog, the Swamp Thing, Hulk,
and Earnest Borgnine too!
Crow:
But Earnest Borgnine isn't green!
Servo:
Well you put him on a boat and he is!
Joel and Crow:
WHAT?!
Servo:
Hey! Who's that at the bottom, a-wallowin' in his shame?
Crow:
Oh, that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame.
Servo:
Huh.
Joel:
To wrap it up, the worst mutation...
Crow:
No, you don't suppose?!
Servo:
Oh yes it is, the horror of horrors—
Joel, Crow, and Servo:
—Karl Malden's nose!
Servo and Crow:
Ohhhh nooooo!
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